


Leave Me Standing

by Starshaker



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Separation, Soul Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-26
Updated: 2015-08-26
Packaged: 2018-04-17 08:45:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4660158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starshaker/pseuds/Starshaker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Eggsy saw Valentine shoot and kill Harry the soulbond that had been building between them snapped and sent him reeling. He went on to save the world but after that couldn't bring himself to step foot inside Kingsman because of all of the reminders of Harry. He left Kingsman and attempted to fill all of his time with distractions to drown out the guilt. He felt the pain of everyone around him who lost someone that day and blamed himself for not being faster and for giving Merlin the idea to blow thousands of people straight to hell. He felt everything.</p>
<p>Harry wakes up in a hospital bed and felt nothing. Since he couldn't feel Eggsy through the soul bond he believed Eggsy had died. After months of physical therapy he returned to England. He continued to believe that Eggsy is dead until he saw him one day on the streets of London.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Leave Me Standing

**Author's Note:**

> Team #6 Kingsmanminibang 
> 
> Accompanying art by Comatosebadger (http://archiveofourown.org/works/4660293) Which you should all check out because it's beautiful xXx
> 
> Thank you also to LadyJDee who pointed out loads of mistakes with my first draft and I then was so overwhelmed by RL that I couldn't utilise them better. I wish i had made time to get to work with you some more x

In the darkest of times stories of soul mates were the fairy tale endings many people kept with them to their dying day. A connection to someone who could always pull you back from disasters edge. To hold you, support you, to understand you entirely. That didn’t mean there wasn’t work to be done to secure such a bond, but fate had a way of bringing those together who would need each other most. A compatibility between two people like no other. A connection that built up slowly and settled comfortably in the back of each person’s mind creating a balance of consciousness; shared contentment, support in anguish and a promise of security in one another. 

The fairy tales of youth would suggest that couples became inseparable once they realised their connection and automatically lived happily ever after, dying together and forever at peace. Obviously not always true, though a soul bond was craved by many. Some people suggested a good soul bond as key for a long and happy life, or indeed the life the fates had set out for you.

Even after their soul mates death some claimed to still feel the mental presence and reassurance of their bond. Others felt their soul mate's death as the simple disappearance of the mental presence as if it were never there and to some it felt as strong as a breaking bone, or many bones.

 

Eggsy had numbed himself to the pain which had plagued him since he’d felt his own bond break, all the while trying his hardest not to let it show. He’d been working three different jobs, running himself to exhaustion, trying to forget. His mum would run a gentle hand over his arm or through his hair more often as a means of comfort but Eggsy would sooner shrug it off than dwell on her concern. He’d barely known Harry was his soul mate at all until suddenly their connection wasn’t there. He wondered if it would have been easier not to watch it happen as if Valentine were aiming the gun at him too.

Their bond had built up slowly, without him realising. The subtle reassurance in the back of his mind could have been his own self confidence growing until suddenly it felt as though a whole part of him wasn’t there. He had no idea whether Harry had known either. 

They’d been picking up each other’s habits but the training had masked those effects, he’d changed without meaning to. All his commitment to Kingsman and becoming something better was worth shit compared to having someone genuinely proud of him like he’d felt from Harry. 

At the time he’d felt it was revealing just how shit all his attempts at change were by staying with Kingsman. Arthur had practically ushered him out the door and since he was offered an out, he took it. He didn’t even say goodbye to Roxy. He knew at the time she’d fucking hate him for that.

The house had been left to him and he couldn’t face going near the place. He sold it, guessing that Kingsman reacquired it since he’d barely put it up for sale a day before an offer had been presented. He accepted immediately and bought a new place for his mum as soon as the money was in his account.

Roxy had turned up on his doorstep a week after they’d moved into the new house. Eggsy had tried to shut the door in her face. Her foot had blocked its path and she didn’t wince; her level stare meeting his reluctant one. He’d crossed his arms, stuck his chin out and been a petulant fucking arse. She’d told him as much. Shortly after she’d looked so close to tears and told him she would always be there if he needed her. Shortly after that she turned on her heel and left Eggsy feeling like a fuck up once again. He hadn’t seen her since but there was a card on his birthday from her and Merlin. He’d shoved it straight into the bin and drunk himself stupid with Jamal. It was a fucking morbid celebration.

He recognised the handwriting again come Christmas. A card and present left on his doorstep that was immediately moved to the back of his wardrobe. A corner he never touched and barely glanced towards.

The suit similarly remained in the back corner of the wardrobe. It was worth more than everything else he owned, and he deliberately overlooked it every time he opened his cupboard drawers. A bulletproof suit wasn’t exactly a requirement for any of the jobs he’d picked up.

His mum and sis had the best of everything now but Eggsy didn’t treat himself to anything more than he needed. His hoodies had endured so far, he didn’t need any food but the basics, and there didn’t seem to be much point in spoiling himself. He scoffed when he thought about the possibility. He’d spoiled so much for everyone else.

He knew to put on a good show for his mum. He knew she had nightmares about the rage Valentine’s control instilled in everyone. Eggsy had nightmares himself; Roxy torn up with Gazelle’s blade, his mum bruised and bleeding out on the floor, his friends and others he’d met lying in a mangled mess of blood and as Eggsy watched it happen. He knew it was him that had done it. 

Hallucinations plagued him too; every time he saw someone falter in their step he waited to see if a knife had hit them in the back and they’re falling; Every time he saw someone reaching for an inside jacket pocket he expected to see a gun. 

He spent most nights at his sister’s bedside watching her small steady breaths and counting them. Despite often feeling a need to check on his mum when he gets in at night the picture of her lying there so still with her shallow breathing sometimes worried him more. In the moment Eggsy had to talk himself down from believing she hadn’t stopped breathing altogether. His breath caught in his throat as his mind skipped to his darker fears.

And JB sat patiently at his side through all of it. He didn’t spend much time around the dog as he walks in and out of the house infrequently but the pup remained loyal and obedient. The dog watched over his master from the chair in the corner of the room as he caught a couple of hours sleep between each shift at his three jobs. JB spent the remaining hours at the side of Daisy, the only Unwin consistently pleased to see him. Eggsy could sometimes barely bring himself to look at the pup let alone fuss over him when he arrived home, sometimes after multiple long shifts. It’s one of the reminders of what he was trying to escape from. However, when his mum started to look tired he’ll gather up Daisy and JB and head to the park. JB ran circles at their feet and Daisy toddled along. 

She didn’t speak much but Eggsy and his mum usually figured out her gestures after a little while. Michelle had taken her for a couple of check ups after they moved into the new house when Daisy would spend her playtime sat up quietly in a corner, muttering incoherently. The doctors had just said ‘slow development’. She was healthy and happy regardless. Eggsy had googled late development and found some articles on giving kids other ways to start communicating. A kids version of British sign language looked promising though he hadn’t had much of a chance to try it with her.

It’s not like he needed the money. Between the sale of Harry’s house and the courtesy grant Kingsman gifted him on his departure, he and his family were set for the near future. He wouldn’t touch it but to give his mum the money for anything she might need. The money he earned more than covered his own expenses and the rest was split between a fund for Daisy’s future and donations to relief groups dealing with the aftermath. His aftermath. 

He’d been the only one available to stop Valentine’s plan and he hadn’t worked fast enough. The only time he had been thinking quickly enough he’d given Merlin the suggestion which killed everyone Valentine had recruited or misled. His own nightmares refer him to that image. Being stood in a hall full of bodies, lives he ended. Eggsy often woke up in cold sweat, his throat raw and his eyes stinging. He pulled himself into a work uniform and ducked out of the house before his mum saw him. Her concern was just as painful.

What eclipsed all his guilt was the sharp loss of the soul bond, on some days he wished Valentine had won. The pain of it all would plague someone else. Other days he wished that the gun he’d watched being levelled at Harry had sent the bullet straight through the computer screen and taken him with it. 

There weren’t many good days, and most of them were faked until after a few hours he realised he’d forgotten to dwell on his grief for the time passed. His feelings often seemed to be swallowed up by the emptiness in his chest and his mind and tore back through him like a hot iron through his chest. He felt everything and Harry should have eased all the pain. Soul mates were a ‘til death do us part’ deal and Eggsy didn’t think he’d ever feel anything as painful as feeling his soul bond torn from him.

 

Harry woke up and felt nothing, saw nothing familiar in the bland hospital room. Only a steady beeping and the rush of blood in his own ears. There was no familiar warmth settled in his gut, nor any subtle curling of emotion in the back of his mind. Harry was very much alone.

He heard the beeping increase in tempo and began to register it was his own heartbeat causing the increase. He reached around in the dark and after some fumbling he hit a button he hoped was the nurse’s call button. A faint light filtered around a blind but it hurt as he strained to focus. A door to his left opened and a short stocky woman bustled in. She crossed the room and her eyes widened in surprise at his consciousness.

Harry tried to ask where he was but choked as his dry throat protested.

“Just lie still and breathe for a little while, you’ve been out quite a while.” Her accent suggesting he was still in the states, specifically Kentucky. The nurse offered him a sip of water and continued to fill the silence with supposedly reassuring chatter.

“Well it would be on my watch huh,” She muttered as she made notes on the clipboard that sat beside his bed “I’ll call the doctor for you. Don’t try and move too much, It’s probably going to be a while ‘til you’re back on your feet,” She turned and headed back to the door and then paused looking back with a smile as if forgetting something, “It’s good to see you awake, sweetie,” She nodded shut the door gently behind herself.

Harry catalogued his senses and limbs as he stared up at the ceiling and found he couldn’t raise his hands without shaking uncontrollably; his muscles ached and protested as he tried to clench his fists open and closed. His thoughts ran back though his last memories. Vivid images of slicing his way brutally through dozens of people. Valentine and his plan to inflict that horror on billions more. The cause of the silence sitting cold silence at the back of his mind. A chill settled in his gut.

Eggsy would no doubt have gone to his mum as soon as he realised the way those SIM cards worked. The heart monitor was shrieking in his ear and the door was thrown open. Moments later a woman in her white medical coat leant over him and repeatedly told him to breathe deeply as she flashed a bright light over his eyes. 

He tried to concentrate on her voice there was no mention of Kingsman which meant that this wasn’t a secured facility. Without anyone finding him it could mean that Kingsman had failed and fallen.

 

Eventually it was carefully explained to him how he had been found a dozen or so miles away by a late comer to the church, how he had been kept in a medically induced coma for six months, and then how he had consequently been lying unconscious thousands of miles from home for two further weeks. He had metal plates replacing sections of removed skull. The injury had caused physical difficulties with walking and his dexterity would take time and perseverance in order to overcome.

 

Physiotherapy took months and Harry could bring himself to do little more than give a fake name, few contact details that led to dead ends and leave the facility at the first opportunity. The doctors were reluctant to allow him autonomy until his rehabilitation allowed him to function adequately without assistance. If Kingsman hadn’t found him as yet, it would be unwise to possibly inform the new users of their technology of his whereabouts. Valentine had clearly on his way to identifying the Kingsman organisation. 

His shaking returned in his hands periodically and occasionally his walking wavered. He adopted a single mindedness towards ignoring his most recent memories before his coma. The coldness of a lack of bond settled deep within him and the staff working around him seemed to acknowledge the lack of soul mate as a common tragedy. They’d noted certain despondent responses far more commonly over the past few months. 

One nurse confided in him the one of the first patients she’d tended after that day was a girl who’d stabbed her soul mate eight times and then come to her senses to have him die in her arms. She’d wandered out into the street blindly and been hit by a car. The whole time she was in recovery she was so distraught her recovery took twice the time it should. The loss of a soul mate was known to cause extreme grief and loss of a person’s sense of self. Without her soul mate she hadn’t wanted to live. Some people simply couldn’t function on their own after the trauma.

“You can make it without your soul mate,” The nurse had reassured him, though he suspected she had yet to meet hers. Harry knew he would be able to carry on without Eggsy but he didn’t think he’d want to. He’d only just started to build something with Eggsy; He’d never felt such potential within another human being before.

Their bond had slowly latched onto each part of Harry’s life, and each time Harry thought of going back to England he wondered if he would be consistently looking for echoes of Eggsy’s presence. It still felt like a dead nerve, not to have that presence tethering them together. The memories were still there but there was no warmth left in them. There was nothing to hold on to.

 

Four months after waking up he gathered his few accumulated possessions, acquired a temporary passport from a known stash near the airport, and caught the next flight to London. His head ached with every rumble though the plane’s fuselage and his movements remained stilted and unsteady. He refused to sit and stew on his self pity any longer and since he was allowed home there was no other decision to be made.

He held muted hopes to find someone who might give him some semblance of normalcy. He’d dreamed for weeks now of stepping off the plane, of returning to the shop to find no one left at all. It had taunted him throughout his slow recovery that he hadn’t been found and removed from his hospital room prison.

Harry first thought he’d imagined Merlin standing in the arrivals exit, tall and stoic amongst the families fussing their own relations. It felt like walking towards a ghost or some sick hallucination after the torturous eight hour flight. The closer he walked the more he could see; Merlin’s eyes were red and the more obvious the tracks down his cheeks were from crying. Tracks that were only reinforced by further tears when Harry paused in front of him. He wondered in that moment just how many times Merlin had seen him drop of the grid, or in hospital rooms and medical bays held together with careful stitches and breathing through ventilators. At least he hadn’t been sat in the room for the duration of this recovery.

“Call next time you fucking bastard,” Merlin snapped. Harry sagged, dropping his bag to the floor as he wrapped his arms around his friend’s shoulders and there were soon two more tear tracks dripping down onto their clothes.

“Thank you for coming,”

“I won’t next time,” Merlin countered stubbornly as he pulled away.

“Can I just go home? It’s been a long trip back,”

“Car’s waiting.” He took Harry’s small bag from him and led him out of the airport. The crowded had seemed to part around them. “When the alert came through on our systems I thought it was a sadistic glitch. Where on earth have you been?”

“Hospital in Kentuckey,” Harry told him as he kept pace, “I missed your bedside manner”

“I checked every hospital in Kentucky, and every other god-forsaken state around it,” Merlin snapped but Harry found it difficult to take his friend seriously.

“You’re losing you’re touch,”

“No. What name did you give?” Merlin asked.

“When I woke up? George Harrison,”

“Did you have memory loss?” Merlin asked sharply and Harry glanced across to him.

“Not as much as I would have liked,” Harry scowled and strode past Merlin.

“We’ve updated the medical aliases in the system at least a dozen times since then. George Harrison if from back in the 80’s Harry,”

“Keeping you on your toes,”

“Then I’m sorry to disappoint.” Merlin said flatly. “Would you like to hear the effects of Valentine’s plan?”

Harry heard the heaviness in his friend's voice. The resignation that all had not gone to plan on their end.

“You know, I don’t think I want to know,” He sighed looking across the top of the car at Merlin, “Can you only tell me what I need to know when I need to know it?”

“I’ve been trying to do that for years,”

“I think it’s what I need,” Harry admitted as he felt significantly defeated.

The rest of the ride was quiet besides Merlin’s small comments about the house being unused since his departure and that Harry would need a medical exam in the next 48 hours to be reassessed. It was still standard procedure but Merlin’s hesitation as he pulled up outside Harry’s house had suggested something more.

“Heatings been on a couple of hours, should be a box of essentials inside the door, can’t promise that nothing’s been moved though,”

“Thank you, dear friend,”

“If there’s anything else?” Merlin’s reluctance to leave now was evident. Harry realised now that Merlin had spent much of the journey casting extra glances his way, as if not knowing for sure if this were a true reality; even now his friend was pinching himself hard enough that Harry could see a fine line of blood down the edge of his palm.

“Would you stay for a drink perhaps?” Harry asked lightly and Merlin nodded in response quickly.

“I cannae refuse. But you owe me more than one I can promise you,” His countenance relaxed some as he stepped up to Harry doorway beside him. Harry reached out a hand and Squeezed Merlin’s arm firmly.

“You are most welcome to drink me dry,”Harry conceded, “But you must also keep me company for breakfast,” 

“Some of us have a country’s intelligence to monitor on a daily basis,”

“Then we may both turn in early. I would simply be glad of some familiar company,” His hand fell from Merlin’s arm and he turned to enter the house, Merlin followed him, shutting the door gently behind them both.

 

Merlin kept true to Harry’s request and refused him information he did not need to know for the time present. Despite any initial frustration, in reflection Harry was pleased he did not have the opportunity to press for more information.

Merlin called in each day as he had since Harry’s first few enforced medical recuperations, and every couple of days a different agent would make an appearance on his video feed. All pleased to see him in one piece and most looked forward to a recounting of his missing time when he was back at HQ.

Harry daren’t ask his friends how Eggsy died. He could barely think of it himself, let alone have talked about it. He wondered if Merlin had blamed him for not securing the boy better. Whether Harry had pushed the responsibility of the boy onto Merlin’s shoulders, by allowing himself to be caught up in the chaos pre-empting the day that so many more mourned. Despite his friend’s often harsh words to Eggsy as a recruit, Harry knew his friend had been nearly as fond of the boy as he had been Roxanne. He daren’t bring up the grief Merlin must have felt for losing both he and Eggsy. Harry wondered if seeing the information on file would be easier to digest.

From the scattered mentions of Valentine, Harry established that Kingsman had indeed been hit hard by the effects of what those in the know were calling V-day.

The media had suggested various conspiracy theories which included everything from the population growth to alien experiments. Merlin advised him that most importantly Arthur had been replaced and Lancelot certainly seemed more than competent in her now established position. Harry noted how she’d nod politely to him in passing but rarely shared the same room if he visited HQ. Her looks were purposefully trained and yet he felt resentment directed towards him in her measured words. He wondered if she too blamed him for Eggsy’s fate. Again, he was reluctant to have such information acknowledged and pushed it to the back of his mind as best he could.

Harry submitted the post-dated report despite the gaps which littered his memory, and he endured the lengthy debrief without ever setting eyes on Arthur. He wondered how exactly the new authority had used the information bulking out his lengthy file to make a judgement of his character. Merlin cautiously informed him that the previous had died in the aftermath of Valentine’s massacre but wouldn’t mention much further.

At times Harry was inclined to look at the reports from the months he’d missed; he didn’t. He instead left for a reconnaissance mission in Portugal and tried his best to ignore the shadow in the back of his mind which followed him from mission to mission.

 

Harry felt more like a bobby on the beat when he chased down a lead on the streets of London. Arthur had been assigning him more and more of these tedious assignments despite Harry, still after 6 months, never having laid eyes on the man.

There had been one group meeting per month and Harry’s missions had inconveniently timed themselves that he was not in a position to attend. Merlin assured him he was not missing anything vitally relevant nor was he judged for where his missions led.

He’d barely looked at the guy but the suit must have spooked him and he’d turned tail complete with a vital memory card. They ended up racing through a street market, Harry nearly lost his patience as a woman lingered in his way but as he dodged down a back alley he cut the guy off in his tracks. The target threw himself into the traffic, cars swerved around him with piercing screeches. 

Harry followed regardless. His breaths were getting shallower and his leg was beginning to protest. He resented that reconnaissance and minor missions were taking so much out of him. His lucky break came when his prey ducked down into an alleyway off the main street and Harry slowed, brought his umbrella up to eye level and shot a putt that hit right the back of his head; some skills you don’t forget, he thought to himself. 

The man dropped to his knees and then flat out into the gravel. Harry took a moment to catch his breath before he approached his quandary and searched the pockets. Nothing but a wallet and keys. He’d felt along the lining of the wallet, then of the jacket. A seam in the sleeve was reinforced and he carefully cut the stitches until out slid the memory card into his palm. He straightened, slipped the card into his own inside pocket and strode out of the alley.

 

He later couldn’t have explained what caught his attention, perhaps it was years of trained observations skills or something else entirely, but his eyes had been drawn across the road to the doors of a coffee shop. 

The door had been swung open wide and Harry could barely breathe as Eggsy stepped out, a small child balanced on his shoulders. Eggsy held the door for the next patron who nodded a thanks and Eggsy said something which made the little girl on his shoulders laugh. 

A bus pulled up a few hundred yards away. Harry could read the curse on the boys lips as his swung the girl around his shoulders to a firmer hold at his chest and ran to catch it. Eggsy’s bag had jostled on his shoulder and nearly caught in the door as he jumped on moments before it pulled away.

A Merlin’s voice appeared in his ear, calm but concerned.

“You’re about thirty seconds for giving yourself a heart attack Galahad. Report,”

“He’s alive,” Harry said breathily.

“Who? The informant, I hope so,”Merlin drawled in his ear as Harry ducked his head and disappeared into the crowds of people. Merlin had long had the habit of opening communication a few seconds before accessing an agent’s glasses feed, and Harry hadn’t wanted to be caught staring after the bus.

Harry could feel the shakes returning to his hand and he clenched it into a tight fist, “Did you know Eggsy was alive?” Harry asked, keeping his voice as calm as he could manage. He couldn’t control his body’s reactions as easily as he could control his voice.

“Yes,” Merlin said.

“And you didn’t tell me,” He could hear the tension evident in his own voice.

“I believed it was one of the pieces of information you were trying to avoid,” Merlin explained.

“Yes,” He snapped, and then on the exhale of another breath, “It was,”

“Then why are you giving yourself a coronary?” Merlin asked sharply, clearly tiring of Harry’s train of conversation.

“I thought he was dead,” Harry heard his own empty words, his own admittance of his fear that had wrapped itself around his mind for months.

“Because he wasn’t with Kingsman? He failed the test, favouritism isn’t our game-,”

“Because he was my soul mate,” Harry admitted tipping his head up to the sky as he felt the first few drops of rain begin to fall on him. From his earpiece Harry couldn’t even hear Merlin’s typing and he wondered whether the connection had dropped out. After a minute Merlin’s voice returned in his ear, quieter and resigned.

“Was?” He asked.

“Our connection broke,” Harry said quietly, “When I woke up in the hospital I couldn’t feel him any more,”

“God-dammit,” He heard Merlin’s typing resume after a long sigh “Listen, I'm sending you a car,”

“I asked you to only tell me what I'd need to know. He _should_ have been just another failed recruit,”

“That damn boy got under everyone’s skin.” “If I'd noticed, if I'd known,” He muttered under his breath, his words not intended for Harry.

“We both mistakenly assumed,” Harry

“The best of the secret service,” Merlin mused, “We really shouldn’t fuck up this often,”

“However you can usually cover up your mistakes before anyone realizes them,” Harry said under his breath as he saw a familiar kingsman taxi turn into the street up ahead.

“I’m sorry Harry,”

 

Eggsy shoved the bus ticket deep into his pocket hugged Daisy close to his chest. She sucked mindlessly on her thumb no matter how many times he pulled it from her mouth. Right now she was tired and it was keeping her quiet. Having run a few hundred yards for the bus had taken the wind right out of his chest. Either that or the curdling in his gut was likely more grief. He’d given up figuring out the exact triggers it seems to be a constant tension that every so often washed over him like a wave. Still for now he could blame the feeling on his lax exercise pattern.

“I’m out of practice eh, either that or you’re getting to be a bigger lump. Hey, you growing up to be a big girl?” He bounced his sister gently on his lap and she giggled and buried her head in his chest. For a moment he felt a warm contentment that he hadn’t remembered he could. It didn’t last more than a few minutes and the guilt returned as soon as the bus passed his old pub. It’d reopened since, a place of solace for so many, a hub, or a purgatory. Eggsy didn’t go inside.

Daisy grabbed something from his pocket, his wallet; low risk as he didn’t have much in it. It’s most interesting feature was probably whatever Daisy had last wiped across it with her grubby little fingers.

“Hey girl, what you doing there?” She opened it smiling to herself as she pulled out the scrunched up receipts and loose change. He struggled to grab each as she threatened to drop them all across the bus’ floor. 

“Troublemaker,” He muttered as he caught his bank card before it too was lost. He glanced over her shoulder and saw her holding on to one of the small photos that’d sat for so long in his wallet it had faded to muted colours.

She held it up to his face and grinned and he felt a tightening in his chest. He forced out a smile and cupped her own hand around it.

“That’s Harry, I told you about him remember,” He stroked a hand down her light wavy hair. She tapped her chest lightly with one hand. She didn’t speak much despite Eggsy’s encouragement but he’d looked up a little sign language that seemed to help her. She always had a smile for him.

“Yeah, soul mate. but he’s gone now,”He explained. She frowned a little as she looked between him and the picture. “I didn’t even realise he was mine until I couldn’t imagine not having him there,”

She tapped her shoulder with a finger from her empty hand and then threw her open away from her. He guessed she was asking why he had left.

“Neither of us really had a choice about it. But he kept us safe when you were little and gave me- gave me everything I could’ve asked for,” His voice was soft and she leant back in his lap and rested her head against his shoulder.

“You would’ve loved winding ‘im up much as you do me,” He waved the accumulated mess she’d extracted from his wallet and dug his fingers into her side gently which made her laugh and squirm. “I let you get away with it. Tell yuh what, I could never pickpocket anything off ‘Arry without ‘im noticing,” He muttered pressing a kiss to her temple and slipped the photo from her fingers, and replaced it in his pocket

“ ‘Gsy” She batted her hands at him and he dodged back out of her reach with a grin. The bus was just pulling up to their stop. He shoved the wallet back into his pocket and reached up over her head to press the bell.

“Come on, lets go find Mum eh?” He stood up, lifted her to his waist and held her tight, “Say thanks to the driver Daisy,”

 

Harry maintained the he didn’t want to know anything from the Kingsman records he didn’t explicitly need for assignments, and despite Merlin’s apprehension he complied. His reluctance was rooted in a deep possessiveness over the privacy of his feelings for the boy. However he couldn’t help himself after seeing Eggsy the once, and with a practised skill, it was quite easy to track someone across London. 

Cowardice stopped him from ever approaching the boy but he saw him often.

Harry kept note of Eggsy’s three jobs, and his regular visits to one of the local support meetings. He acknowledged it was an abuse of privilege when he listened in to one of the meetings via a listening device planted on another attendee. Eggsy never spoke up or offered his experience of that day and Harry considered placing a camera inside.

After a few weeks Eggsy stopped going to that meeting. Harry found that Eggsy had switched to attend one further from his home. Harry continued his surveillance much to the distaste of Arthur, as he was informed by Merlin. Merlin wouldn’t comment for himself. When Harry felt the need to reach for his friend he nodded and left the room.

 

He looked up re-establishing broken soul bonds but found little comfort in people who suggested there’s no other choice but to move on. After a while he started to half believe them but he still lingered on street corners and watched through cameras as Eggsy went about his life. Occasionally Harry would believe he could feel Eggsy’s emotions and presence once again, but then would then find himself staring blankly at a wall or out of a window, and the feelings long gone. ‘Wishful thinking at it’s finest’ He muttered under his breath more often than not and he’d pick himself up and go back to work.

 

When his head felt clear and the weather was warm and pleasant he wandered out on to the streets for lack of anything better to do. The sun warmed his joints and eased the persistent aches that no amount of bed rest seemed to cure as he aged.

Harry had walked a couple of miles without meaningful direction before diverting to a café he enjoyed frequenting for the most gorgeous slices of carrot cake. He collected his spoils and headed through a city park where many others were taking advantage of the sun. If not for his formal attire he could imagine himself fitting in with the masses without a single head turning his way. Even the scarce businessmen had loosened their top buttons and ties as they tanned during their lunch breaks. Still, it was only cursory glances that fell on him, that deemed him unimportant and then returned their attention to their own existence.

An empty bench overlooking a small fountain was too tempting a spot to refuse so he sat, and let his thoughts wander as he ate. His daydream was broken by a young blonde haired girl ducking behind his bench. She seemed unconcerned by his presence as she peered through the slats no doubt in a game of hide and seek. He checked his watch and felt a slight movement of the pocket of his jacket. He looked down and saw the girl sheepishly smiling at him, her hand was hovering just over his pocket.

“Not this time I’m afraid my dear,” She giggled and circled the bench to stand in front of him. He hands ran along the edge of her t-shirt and she sucked on her bottom lip as she stared up at him.

“Is anyone going to be looking for you? Mother, father,” She nodded up at him glanced to both sides and then pointed up at him before cupping one hand over the other and moving them up and down slightly. Her wide eyes watched him and when he didn’t respond she repeated the action.

“Talking to strangers is not always safe,” He warned her carefully.

“Eggsy,” She said and then repeated once more pointing at him and shaking her hands up and down as if giving oneself a handshake slowly.

“Excuse me?” He asked.

She pulled herself up to sit next to him on the bench. She cupped both hands over each other again and brought them up to her chest.

“Daisy, come here. You don’t talk to strange people. You wait at the park,” Harry looked up to see Michelle Unwin heading towards him, the child’s walker and several bags of shopping hung from its handles. The girl jumped down from the bench and fell in beside her mum.

“Mum!” She looked from Michelle to Harry and with another grin cupped her hands together and patted them over her chest. “Eggsy!”

“That right? You know Eggsy?” Her voice was sharp as her eyes fell on him.

“I worked with him for a period. We were friends though I haven’t seen him in some time,”

“Do I know you from somewhere?” She asked, squinting at him suspiciously as she spoke.

“We’ve met briefly. After Lee’s passing,” She nodded but there was no recognition in her eyes.

“What did you say your name was?”

“Harry,”

“Eggsy” Daisy whispered excitedly and pressed her palm to her chest twice. Ms Unwin’s eyes widened slightly, surprise evident.

“I don’t think so sweetheart,” She looked back up at Harry a slight questioning squint to her expression, “We need to be getting home,”

“Please don’t let me keep you,” He nodded and rose from the bench, “Have a good day,” He left hearing Michelle scold her daughter for wandering off. “...And I need a word with your brother next time he finds his way home,” Harry glanced back to see the child pouting but walking hand in hand at her mum’s side slowly.

 

Harry wondered if anything would come of his encounter with Michelle Unwin but a couple of weeks passed and there was no change in Eggsy’s routine. A month later thoughts of Eggsy were pushed to the back of his mind in favour of covertly navigating several London gang politics.

 

Harry’s mission led him to an underground club, a business meeting between low level rivals Merlin had said. Harry had been under the impression he’d be an unofficial mediator. Kingsman would allow certain criminal groups to continue if they maintained others.

The men sat around him were nervous and that did not make for easy reconnaissance. He’d excused himself to make a phone call and returned to see Serban, their in-command, shoot a man at point blank range whilst yelling “traditore!” and waving his gun at the now even more uneasy circle of criminals. Harry was certain there were two more traitors besides himself, though he had not assumed the man now dead was one. If the past month had taught him anything it was that Kingsman wouldn’t need to step in as this group tried to establish themselves further; They were closer to self-destructing.

Serban circled the room and levelled the gun on each of them in turn; some were too scared to move, some ducked their heads and Harry stared back.

“You are not afraid I will take your confidence as defiance, as that you have something to hide?”

“All men have secrets,” Harry said calmly.

“And yet some claim to be honest men,” Serban said with a vacant nod the the rest of the room. Several men shifted nervously in their seats.

“No man in this room is honest,” Harry replied. Serban laughed heartily and lowered the gun with a glint in his eye.

“Perhaps,” He nodded and glanced about his comrades, passing straight over the body still bleeding out on the floor, “Or perhaps I could kill you all and take your business and contacts as my own. Would limit my risks, no?” From the corner of his eye Harry saw another man, Luther shuffle behind two other men. He was one traitor to Serban’s venture who Harry suspected, and he wasn’t aiming to subvert the operation for altruistic ends.

 

Eggsy had just set his sister down for the night when his phone vibrated loudly on the chest of drawers. The toddler squirmed and threatened to wake up but settled back into her dozing state a few seconds his swiped the phone into his hand answering it without checking the caller ID and cupping his sister’s cheek gently.

“Sleep well baby girl,” He shut her door to as he left, lifting the phone to his ear, “Hello?”

“Eggsy, Harry needs you,” Merlin’s voice was familiar in his ear yet Eggsy fought the impulse to hang up immediately.

“Excuse me?”

“Harry Hart is not dead, he had months of being in a coma and rehabilitation before returning to Kingsman and now he’s on a reconnaissance mission he needs an extraction. Am I making myself clear?”

“No. You better not be fucking messing with me Merlin,” He ducked into his own room and yanked out a drawer full of scrap pieces of paper and trinkets, “Where is he?”

“I can count the number of times Harry has needed an emergency extraction on one hand and Arthur isn’t signing off on it. He’s in London, the car will be with you in 3 minutes,” His hand curled around a small piece of plastic and eased out an old ear piece from underneath the rubbish. He’d found in the bottom of his pocket when he’d walked away from Kingsman. It didn’t seem like too much to expect Merlin to reactivate it.

“Mum! I’m heading out, don’t wait up,” He called down the hallway to the kitchen and was out the front door before he heard a reply. “I can’t shoot anyone Merlin. If you’ve been keeping track of me at all I’m all kinds of fucked up,”

“I will take anyone I trust right now,” Merlin said; his trust was more influential than his reassurance.

“Okay what do I need to know?”

 

Eggsy steeled himself against the judgemental stares thrown his way as he strode through what could have passed for a top class restaurant had they turned the lights up a bit. Merlin had warned him it was known for suspicious dealings and illicit meetings but it made it damn hard to find who you were looking for. His own eyes flickered over the groups lingering at the bar and tables scattered about the room. He knew he looked out of place but his suit had been long overdue a trip to the cleaners. His hoody wouldn’t protect him from much but ideally it wouldn’t need to.

He noted the flow of the music and as it quietened he jumped atop a nearby table. The couple who had appeared to be fully engaged with each other’s mouths jumped apart and back from him with a yell as Eggsy narrowly missed knocking their drinks over. Nearby occupants eyed him, some reached to their inside pockets of their jackets and handbags that no doubt held weapons of some sort. Eggsy found he didn’t care, they’d be stupid to discharge their weapon if he wasn’t pursuing them in particular. Crime was too often a selfish game, he’d figured that out after being dragged into it himself a few too many times.

The music cut from the speakers entirely as Eggsy scanned the room from his new vantage point, only vaguely taking account of two thick skulled security guards moving to flank each doorway, four moved to block a door at the back that likely led to more high risk dealings. The lighting remained too dim for him to find his target.

“Hello, hi yeah I realise you don’t want me here but I’m looking for someone in particular. Tall guy, dark hair, some sort of scarring around his left eye,” Merlin had warned him that Harry has several facial injuries and reconstruction work since he’d returned but Eggsy still felt as if he were searching for a ghost.

He heard someone shoved out of the way behind him and twists just in time to jump out of reach of an imposing bouncer lunging for him. He swore under his breath and ducked around a couple of tables, careful to stay two steps ahead of the security.

“Come on guys I’m a lover not a fighter, I dun wanna hurt you,” The guy closest to him snorts and sneers and a voice finally comes through his outdated earpiece.

“This was supposed to be a simple extraction,” Merlin hissed at him.

“Well it would be if I could find him Merl,” Eggsy muttered twisting under one guys arm and kicking the back of his leg out sending him flying over some couple’s table.

“Don’t abbreviate my name, it’s disrespectful,”

“Soz bruv,” Eggsys grinned as he imagined Merlin’s exasperated expression coupled with the faint sigh which could be heard down the line.

“Couldn’t have picked up the glasses could you. They don’t have CCTV in there I’m completely blind,”

“Can’t you send a message to ‘im, he’s definitely in the building right? Not that I’m not having fun but it’s not really my scene y’know,”

“I lost communication after the request for an extraction, his tracker is still in the building though,”

“That’s not helpful! Shit,” Eggsy’s hadn’t even noticed the blade until it was swiped past him a little too close for comfort, “S’pose at least they aven’t started shooting yeah?” he threw a glass his attacker’s way which impacted the guy’s shoulder the drink splashing up into his eyes. The guy growled wiping the liquid away.

“I’ll shoot you myself if you don’t get out of there in one piece,” Merlin snapped down the line.

“Uh huh, _who_ called _who_?” He slipped on a spilled drink, nearly brained himself on some sculpture, modern art shit, and only once he regained his balance found himself face to face with five very pissed off looking security guards. He glanced round behind him but people were scattering now but several more black clad security were pushing their way towards him.

Eggsy’s inner monologue consisted of the word shit on repeat, fear building up inside him when he started to think how he’d run straight out of the house into all this without a second thought. One guy he’d broken a glass over now had blood running down his forehead on neck and it made Eggsy’s stomach curdle.

“I didn’t want to have to hurt anyone Merlin,” There was no reply on the line a faint static buzz that mirrored Eggsy’s own thoughts. He continued to back up around the corner of the bar until he hit something, or rather someone, their hand pressed to the back of his shoulder. He heard a click of a gun behind him and braced himself. He froze. He should have said goodbye to his mum and sis properly. Even if he ducked he would only have milliseconds before another shot was no doubt aimed. 

Merlin’s line was still silent. Eggsy half wished he could hear him cursing him out for taking note of his surroundings better.

The gun went off and he flinched, someone grabbed his arm and threw him into the bar. The person who pulled him immediately began shooting at the five guys who were reaching for their weapons too late. All dropped to the floor, as did three more who’d circled behind him through the exiting crowd. The shooter turned to Eggsy and he could do little more than stare up.

“Is this all still a reckless game to you?” Harry Hart’s voice drew him from the belief that this person in front of him was truly a trick. His ears were ringing, his heart beating too fast and with a deep breath in an attempt to settle himself

“Have you met you?” He pushed himself back from the bar, “The king of showing off,”

“The way I perform in practice has little to do with my efficiency in the field,”

“You know ‘out about my efficiency in the field,” Eggsy snapped.

“I’ve just watched you dance you way around eight attackers without any apparent desire to disable any of them. Without any protection on your person. Where is your suit?”

“They weren’t targets, they were just doing their jobs” Eggsy insisted in an attempt to circumvent the other questions.

“I asked Merlin for an extraction,” Harry growled out.

“And you got me! Your prodigal fuck up,” Over Harry’s shoulder someone was moving in the shadows of the corner As soon as Eggsy made out the shape of a gun being aimed he grabbed the nearest projectile, a glass from behind the bar and threw the shot with as much force as he could muster. The man went down with a thump and Harry raised an eyebrow. “Can we go?” Eggsy knew how stupid and pitiful he’d be looking right now, evidently scared out of his wits.

“After you,” Harry drawled as waved Eggsy towards the door.

“Cheers,” Eggsy huffed and suddenly Merlin’s voice crackled to life in his ear.

“Turn left and the car will be waiting for you at the first junction,”

“Thanks Merlin,”

“Thank _you_ Eggsy,” Eggsy turned the earpiece off and shoved it deep into his pocket half hoping never to see the stupid malfunctioning thing again.

“You’re taking this very well,” Harry said as they stepped out onto the pavement.

“Sure I’m taking it well. I’m the picture of composure,” He huffed.

“It’s good to see you again Eggsy,” Harry said, little more than a whisper above his breath. Eggsy looked up and took him all in. His brow was furrowed, and he was struggling to stop his shoulders from slumping from no doubt exhaustion. Never-the-less, if he didn’t know the man his composure would offset most of the noticeable tells. The trouble was Eggsy did know Harry so he saw the lines of concern at his forehead and the persistent shake in his hands. Harry had composure though, as if he wasn’t going to mention it then Eggsy sure as hell wasn’t.

“Yeah well it’s good to see you too. I figured a bullet hole in your forehead I would have more of an impact,”

“Quite. Though the reconstruction still causes me pain at times,”

“Can’t see much of a scar,” Harry paused and Eggsy walked half a dozen steps on before he turned back to him. “S’it hurting you now?”

“I’d like to show you something,” He held an open palm out to Eggsy who after a moment stepped up and took it. Harry drew Eggsy’s hand up to his forehead, his left temple, pressing Eggsy’s finger’s to the hairline where it was beginning to gain some length again. There was a slight ridge under the skin and then a smooth solid feel.

“I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve reached up to feel the infernal plates in my skull,”

“Daisy’d love you. She’s right into wizard of Oz at the moment,” He turned his hand to knock his knuckles gently against Harry’s forehead, “Eh tin man,” grinning up at Harry.

“I have missed you,” Eggsy’s chest ached suddenly at the softly spoken words and he pulled away sharply and his grin dropped instantly.

“Guess you don’t remember our last conversation then huh?” he turned on his heel but his arm was caught. Harry’s words didn’t come until Eggsy’s drew his eyes up from the pavement to Harry’s face.

“I was wrong in how I reacted. You were never a let down and I apologise,” Harry held his gaze sincerely and Eggsy had to look away shrugging as he did and the hand dropped from his arm. Slowly they both turned back in the direction of the car and walked on, Eggsy overly conscious of the gap between them.

The car was waiting at the junction just as Merlin had promised but Eggsy hesitated. He couldn’t make his first appearance at the Kingsman HQ in a couple of years, see Merlin, or if Roxy was in, or- In truth he couldn’t face being sat in such dismal silence in the journey there, not feeling anything from Harry but the persistent static in the back of his mind. The man at his side could just as well still be dead.

“Look I’m just gonna catch a cab home. Don’t want Mum to worry too much y’know,”

“I’m sure I’ll see you again soon,”

“Yeah, see ya Harry,”

“Goodbye Eggsy,” Harry pulled the door of the car shut and Eggsy watched it until it turned a street corner. He threw his hood up and started his walk home. It’d only take an hour or so, he might even be able to sneak a ride on the subway without getting caught avoiding paying the fare.

Harry had seen more than a few agents exhibit a similar crisis in their work, most lost such second thoughts as the mission dictated, but Eggsy had always be reluctant to follow orders blind. Harry needed to know all Merlin had kept track of regarding Eggsy. Asking Merlin would ensure he actually received the files although it was more than likely the new Arthur would find out. He reached into the side compartment of the taxi and pulled out a receiver complete with private line.

“I need information,” He asked without preamble and without hesitation Merlin replied.

“I thought that was the point of your mission,”

“I need you to tell me what happened to Eggsy,”

“You’re the one who’s been stalking the boy these past months,” Merlin continued to reply in his droll tone.

“Don’t be so bloody obtuse!” Harry said, his voice raised and then in a more defeatist tone, “Merlin, he didn’t seem himself,”

“Eggsy is not with Kingsman. He failed the test and Arthur didn’t want him here,” merlin told him. “I’m lucky I was the only one around when Arthur wanted him with shot one of those amnesia darts,”

“You didn’t” Harry asked assuredly. Eggsy had remembered Kingsman, no amnesia dart had an effective cure after so long.

“Of course I didn’t. I set up him and his family in a new house, cleared his criminal record, removed that hideous abuser from their lives and established a small income that comes out of Kingsman funds. Told him not to cause trouble,”

“Then why was he there tonight?” Harry asked stubbornly.

“There was no back up. No spare resources. Arthur wouldn’t send anyone to save your arse and I was forbidden from going myself. I sent someone I knew wouldn’t hesitate despite the odds. I’d barely finished your name and he was already halfway to your location,”

“Why wouldn’t Arthur send an extraction?” He asked frowning.

“Officially all agents are on missions, unofficially you’re far less of an internal threat if you didn’t make it out of that assignment,”

“I’ve always been loyal to Kingsman,” Harry insisted and he heard Merlin huff.

“But not to its authority. And anyone who saw the boy in action for five minutes knew he took after your methods of practice,”

“So Eggsy was a threat too? He’s just a boy,”

“He killed the last Arthur. The bloke tried to poison the boy and Eggsy poisoned the traitor instead. I’ve seen the feed. I don’t know which had the colder stare,”

“I’m proud of him,” Harry said honestly.

“I thought you might be. Shall I meet you at your house? You provide the drink and I'll provide the rest of the account,”

“I’ve been wilfully ignorant for too long haven’t I?”

“It’s still up to you,” Merlin said. Harry considered his words. They were the offer of one final way out. A choice to walk away as Kingsman had chosen to in the wake of V-Day.

“I can’t go to him, help him, until I know,” Harry said firmly.

“How noble of you,” 

“Prick,” Harry muttered without force, “I'll see you in an hour,” 

“Aye, you will,”

 

Eggsy was usually careful about keeping his problems out of sight from his Mum and Daisy but after finally making it home he’d dropped onto the sofa and that’s where his mum had found him a couple of hours later. 

She sat down next to him, wrapped her arms around him, and pulled him in close. He immediately went slack in her arms, and returned the gesture, his arms wrapped around her and his head falling to her shoulder.

“I’ll still love you if you’re ‘avin problems love. You know that right,” She whispered soothingly, he nodded but didn’t reply, “I love you so much Eggsy,” She cooed and squeezed her arms to hug him tighter, “This about your soul mate?” 

“What? How’d you-?” He startled to splutter over his words and his mum shushed him.

“I know my son,” She said as she turned a knowing look on him, “Not as well as I should but I can figure out what’s eating at you,”

“But-,”

“Daisy isn’t great at keeping secrets love,” She said quietly, “We met someone of yours a while ago. You didn’t mention it so i didn’t think you wanted it mentioned,”

“I thought he was dead mum,” He said quickly and his voice broke with emotion, “The bond broke and now he’s back and there’s still nothing. It feels exactly as painful as when I saw him get shot,”

“Oh Eggsy, I’m so sorry,” She cooed and rubbed her hand up and down over his upper arm.

“Dad was your soul mate right? Does it always hurt?” He asked in a small voice.

“When your dad died I knew something had happened, but I still feel a connection to him. All the love still sits at the back of my mind, even on the bad days,” Her words cut through him pulling painfully at his thoughts about Harry. “I felt fucking guilty about that. I was grieving but he was still here,” she tapped the side of her head.

“But ‘Arry’s not dead, the bond broke so maybe I just wasn’t right for ‘im so the universe gave ‘im an out,”

“Soul bonds are tricky but I don’t think they would give you so much pain. You deserve to be happy,”

“Maybe I’ve fucked up too much to be given a happy ending,”

“You are twenty five years old and I know things have been shit for us at times but we’re okay now and the past is just the past innit. You can’t live you life by your mistakes Eggsy, you’ve always done your best I know you have,” She paused “And I know that I haven’t but you can’t live your life by my mistakes either,”

“Love you mum,”

“Mummy?” The pair turned to see Daisy stood in the doorway thumb hovering near her mouth. His mum held out a hand towards her and she ran to join them. Eggsy steadied her and she scrambled up into his lap and wrapped a fist into their mum’s shirt.

“Hey sweetheart, you okay?” His mum asked. Daisy nodded and nuzzled closer between them. She glanced up at Eggsy and frowned. She reached up and ran a hand down his cheek. It came away wet from his tears and he pressed a kiss to her little fingers.

“Just thinking about some bad stuff, I had a rough night,” her finger came up to tap her shoulder. why.

“Just thinking about Harry ” She cupped her hands over her chest and he nodded, “Yeah Dais,” He ruffled her hair rested a hand on her back and pulled her closer, talking over her head to his Mum, “When I was with Harry people tried to do bad stuff to us, so we stopped them. But that meant I had to do bad stuff too,” He looked from her to his mum and realised he was finally being honest with his family. “He might not like me so much if he knew the stuff I did,”

“You did your best sweetheart,”His mum said quietly and reached out to squeeze his hand in hers.

“Eggsy best,” Daisy added her voice muffled. Eggsy glanced up at his mum as she rolled her eyes.

“She always talks more about her favourite big brother, don’t you sweetheart,” She ruffled her daughter’s hair gently “How about pancakes?” Her suggestion startled him as he glanced up to see he’d been awake through the night and it now read half past eight . Daisy’s eyes however had brightened at the suggestion.

“Pancakes are for special days though, Right Dais, pancakes are for birthdays, Christmas, Easter,”

“Today can be a special day,” His mum added and shifted Daisy onto her Eggsy’s lap. Just as he phone started ringing. He shuffled to reach it in his back pocket when he reads the caller ID he sighs.

“I’m late for my shift at the shop Mum. I was supposed to open up this morning,” He says to her as he answers it immediately with an apology to the person on the line.

“Yeah, sorry, I’m on my way, promise I’ll be-,” but before he could continue his mum slipped the phone from his grip and stood up from the sofa quick so she was out of his reach.

“This is Michelle Unwin. He’s taking a day off. Family reasons,” She told them and promptly hung up with a look on her face that dared him to question her.

“You can’t just do that Mum, I could lose my job,”

“You have three jobs you don’t need, and you can’t fix your mistakes if you don’t give them any of your time.” She crossed her arms, “Do something for yourself, take a day off, or quit. We’ll manage like we’ve always managed,”

“Should I phone round the bar tell them I’m not coming in tonight either?” He held out a hand for his phone back as he spoke.

“Yeah love, we’ll rent a movie,” She smiled and passed the phone back to him.

Daisy raised her arms and Eggsy balanced her and she stood up on Eggsy’s thigh and he winced before lifting her down on the cushion beside him. “Raww!” She raised her hands up like claws.

“Ahh so you want the lion king eh Daisy,” He suggested and she grinned and continued her mime.

“Raww, Raww!” She cried out and then descended into giggles

“Maybe two movies then huh?” He leant back to look at his Mum over the back of the sofa as she leant down to press a kiss to his forehead.

 

Harry resigned himself to the two weeks minimum off duty bed rest and refrained from mentioning Eggsy’s name in his report. Eggsy did not call. Nor did he show up as Harry imagined he might be included to do.

However as soon as he stepped back into Kingsman he had a single focus to his actions.

“I believe it’s high time I sat down with Arthur,” He said determinedly as Merlin stepped up and met him pace for pace as he entered HQ.

“You seem quite collected,” Merlin observed.

“There are things we need to discuss,”

“Spoken to Eggsy?”

“No,” Harry said firmly and shook his head.

“Are you planning to?” Merlin asked and when Harry looked to him his head was cocked to one side.

“I should think so,” Harry said shortly.

“You read through the files I gave you. He saved more lives in one unsanctioned mission than some kingsman in their whole careers. Arthur still thinks he’s a wild cannon, still thinks you’re a wild cannon,”

“He may be right,” Harry said and Merlin nodded slowly considering him.

“I’ll be watching okay,” He tapped his own glasses, “Find me afterwards,”

“I will, thank you,”

Merlin turned off towards him office with a nod and Harry continued down the corridor to Arthur’s office where he waited a moment collecting himself and then knocked sharply.

“Enter,” Came a voice from insiide. Harry rolled his shoulders, straightened up, turned the handle and stepped inside. It was odd to meet your commander-in-charge after two and a half years of deliberate avoidance on their part. As he looked around the room it was deserted but a shuffling could be heard from the cupboard to the left.

“Sir,it’s Galahad. Might I have a word?” He called through, expecting to see Arthur emerge at any point.

“If there’s anything you need surely you can sort it within your abilities Galahad,” It was a younger voice than he’d associated with the image he had of the new Arthur in his head. Though he knew he should stop referring to the man as the new Arthur, but even the previous Arthur was the ‘new Arthur’ for at least a decade before it truly settled in Harry’s mind that the man was in charge.

“Actually what I need is a word with you sir, hence my being here,” He replied, careful not to let his irritation to show too early in their brief conversation.

“If you’ll just allow me a minute, I have some time before my next meeting,” Arthur replied and Harry nodded once to the empty room.

“Of course sir,”

“Please take a seat,” Harry glanced to the desk, the chairs opposing it facing out to the window and away from where Arthur was currently out of sight. Years of indulging his suspicious nature had him on edge about this set up. He sat down slowly and glared at the newton’s cradle gently tapping away to itself on the corner of the desk. It’s steady clack-clack was anything but calming. He removed his glasses and tapped the side of his in an attempt to confirm Merlin was truly watching. A small green light flashed once at the bottom right corner and Harry’s mind settled.

He listened without turning as soft footfalls on the carpet exited the cupboard room and crossed to just behind him. The blurry reflection on the metal spheres allowed Harry to follow his movement without turning around.

“Can a make you a drink?” Arthur asked.

“Thank you but no sir, I have an appointment I must keep this afternoon and would like to be sharp for it,” He lied easily as he replaced his glasses to his pocket, assured that Merlin would continue to listen in.

“Do you mind if I make one for myself, I have a feeling I might need it if anything of my impression of you is reliable,”

“Not at all,”

“What is it you wanted to discuss Galahad?”

“For one I would like to ask your impression of me,” Harry looked up now to see the man he was addressing. As with all Kingsman he wore a perfectly tailored suit leaning back against his drinks cabinet and refusing to meet Harry’s eye.

“One of the first things I heard about you when I was instated into this position was Merlin calling you a prick, overindulgent to recruits under your care, and generally a problematic ass,” Arthur said as he looked down his nose at Harry.

“That sounds a little too kind for Merlin,” Harry said.

“I’m simply trying to set the scene for my impression of you. After that it was some time before the organisation was in a position to begin recruiting for the vacant positions and then at two in the morning I get an urgent message from Merlin saying you’re on a plane home. It was only then I reopened your file and mission history. True it’s impressive, but there are some things abundantly clear in the language you use to describe missions and the language which is used to describe you by peers,” Arthur swirled the drink in his hand as he spoke and though his eyes were on the glass and it’s contents Harry was sure his ever move was being catalogued and countered.

“Such as,” He asked lightly.

“You’re dangerous, unruly, an unpredictable asset and a sore loser,” Arthur swallowed the last of his drink and set the glass down hard on the desk. Harry waited for a moment as Arthur walked behind him again. Harry remained seated so as not to appear a further threat.

“To an extent I'm sure but that seems rather unfair on the whole,” He pushed on the arms of the chair to stand when a heavy hand landed on his shoulder and he remained seated.

“I realise this is quite ungentlemanly but exceptional circumstances,” Arthur said and was shortly followed by a short sharp click of a saftey being removed. “Now I believe we’re in more equal footing. Tell me Galahad when you returned from your mission in the states some months ago to find Kingsman so decimated, did you think you might step into a higher role? I know some of your comrades expected it but alas your recent behaviour had been rather disconcerting to say the least,” Arthur circled into view, a dart gun levelled on his neck. “In fact I do believe your behaviour could be considered troubling. Your mental health has been called into question at the very least,”

“My health is no worse than before you took on this role, sir,” Harry said cautiously.

“And yet you continue to submit misleading reports, missed physical examinations,” Arthur cocked his head to one side. “In short, I don’t trust you and I'd like to offer you the chance to leave gracefully,”

“You want me to leave?” Harry asked, his brow raised in surprise. 

“Quite.” Arthur replied blankly.

“That seems rather mild a request considering what you have levelled at my chest,” He nodded to the dart gun.

“Oh now I don’t want to be misunderstood,” Arthur sneered, “You will not remain in London, you will be monitored for as long as you are capable of communicating with others, and with any luck you will die drooling in your chair in the most unheroic way imaginable,”

“And if I don’t choose that option?” Harry asked, narrowing his eyes and wondering just how triger happy his assailant planned on being.

“Then I will shoot you” Arthur told him plainly. Very trigger happy then, Harry mused “This dart will, within around thirty seconds, send you into shock, then possibly suffer a stroke. Either way your next medical will be scheduled and they’ll find you’re just not the person you always have been, a disease of the brain exacerbated by recent stresses.” Arthur cocked his head to one side and a concieted smirk grew across his features, “Kingsman doesn’t need you any more Hart. Step down gracefully or I’ll make you,”

“Actually I don’t think you will Arthur,” Arthur jumped at Merlin’s voice seemingly emanating from all around him. Harry wondered when exactly he had been bugged. 

In Arthur’s moment of distraction Harry threw the closest projectile he could reach which happens to be the irritating newton’s cradle mechanism which hit the side of his face as Harry lurched for the gun. Arthur lurched and the end of the dart scathed down Harry’s arm just as the doors of Arthur’s office flew open and a very pissed off Merlin levelling a handgun on Arthur.

“I enjoy shooting bastards, move and I will,” Merlin growled “Dannae tempt me boy,” He warned as approached them both slowly. Harry clutched his arm where the dart had cut into his skin just under the wrist cuff.

“I wouldn’t have guessed the threat of my retirement would get you quite so long under the collar Merlin,” Harry teased. Relief flooded his senses and he couldn’t help a smile escaping him.

“I can still shoot you too Galahad,”Merlin said without taking his eyes off Arthur.

“Noted, but I think I should get a second opinion on whatever this poison is first,” He reached for the dart gun to release the projectile just as his leg gave out from under him and he grabbed the desk to keep from hitting the carpet. “Fuck,” Merlin was immediately at his side taking his weight.

“One of my more potent compounds I’d guess,”

“Only the best,” Harry concentrated on keeping his feet steady and out of the corner of his eye he saw Merlin turn back to Arthur raise his gun and fire a single round into the man’s head.

“Only the best,” Merlin agreed.

“Really? cause that looked like an execution,” Harry nodded and Merlin shushed him.

“He flinched, I told him not to move,” Merlin replied plainly as he pulled Harry to the door.

“Thank you Merlin,”

Merlin near dragged him down to medical, and past several other kingsman who had heard the gunshot. Merlin sent them to deal with the mess of Arthur’s office and suggested they take a look at the last thirty minutes of Galahad’s feed. They each nodded and followed the order.

“I guess there’ll be another new Arthur soon then,” Harry said in an attempt to calm his friend who had paced up and down at the end of his medical bed for the past ten minutes as the nurse checked Harry’s vitals and blood work. The antidote Merlin has presetned was still experimental but Harry had never know his friend to fail ni a crisis. If Merlin was under stress, things were unquestionably fixed.

“At least you’ll be here to suffer along with me this time.” Merlin muttered as he thumbed through Harry’s results wihtout seeing the answers he wanted.

“You’re practically in charge already,” Harry said and recieved a glare for his comments.

“Don’t be ridiculous who would do my work. I’m the best at what I do now, I'm not an Arthur,”

“Then how about you lead a more democratic operation,” Harry suggested.

“And while we’re at it we’ll hire a motivational team speaker and a health and safety advisor to do a risk assessment before you go out your front door,”

“That sounds worse than what Arthur had planned for me,” Harry said with a smile to which Merlin sighed

“Get some rest Hart, try not to die in your sleep,” He jotted down a note on Harry’s medical records and headed for the doors

“Merlin,” He called out just as the man reached the door, “I think I do need a break, “ He sighed, “Maybe a risk assessment wouldn’t be too far fetched,”

“Fair enough, I’ll make arrangements,” And without another word Merlin was gone and the room was empty.

Harry wondered if this was a new start of some kind for him.

 

Harry sat carefully at Eggsy’s bedside. He was hesitant to reach out and wake him. He didn’t fully understanding why he’d brought himself here when Merlin had arranged a plane for him in less than two hours.

A retreat and mental health centre awaited his arrival in Norway, one of the best on the secret service books. However, Harry couldn’t leave without putting to rest a rather important apology and goodbye that was resting on his mind.

In the near darkness of the room he studyied the vague outline of Eggsy’s features. Eggsy’s fists were clenched in the sheets and a thin veil of sweat covered his forehead. JB had wagged slowly as he’d walked in and then curled up back in the corner of the room. Harry glanced over to the dog and saw a figure standing in the doorway.

“Get the hell away from my son,”

In the split second Harry looked up to the doorway, seeing Michelle Unwin stood in the doorway, cricket bat in hand, he felt a thin blade pressed to his throat. The hand that held the knife was unsteady as was the boy’s breathing. With a slow side glance to Eggsy he saw the boy’s sharp eyes in the dim light. Harry slid the knife from his grip and dropped it onto the bed covers. Not a moment later Eggsy threw his arms around Harry’s shoulders and hugged him in a vice like hold. Eggsy’s breathing stuttered and Harry felt it like a wrench in his gut locking his eyes around Eggsy just as tightly without a second thought. He glanced up over Eggsy’s shoulder to where Michelle watched him dubiously her silhouette only dimly lit by the night-light on the landing.

“I’m truly sorry I’ve brought distress to your family twice now,” He said Michelle continued to watch him warily though the bat was lowered to her side.

“Sorry don’t mean much round here,” From the next room Daisy’s cry broke the silence, loud and shrill. Michelle watched him for a moment further and then backed out of the doorway and down the corridor to attend to her daughter.

With her gone Harry loosened his hold around Eggsy’s waist and leant over to the bedside table for the lamp. With his other hand he began rubbing slow careful circles across Eggsy’s back in an attempt to ease his unsteady breaths. A few minutes later and Eggsy tentatively pulled back, hastily wiping at his eyes and staring down at where Harry’s hands were crossed on his lap.

“How’d you- you died. I fuckin saw you die. I always see you fucking die,” He sighed and tore his gaze away to the window, “Fuck,”

“A long story, with a great deal of luck involved, I’ll tell you sometime,” He pulled a handkerchief from his breast pocket and offered it to the boy, “I’m going away for a while though,”

“Like I’d notice?” He wiped his eyes and nose and then sat tugging the fabric between his hands. Harry would have liked to think he intentionally let the silence grow between them but in truth he could think of nothing but another apology. One that clearly retained little worth. He was then so caught in trying to find some comforting words that he nearly missed Eggsy’s contribution.

“But you’ll come back though right?”

“As yet I don’t know. Undisclosed location, probably full of psychologists and therapists. I haven’t been coping well.” Harry admitted. Eggsy glanced up and met his gaze, “When I think of the people, in that church before I was shot for example, and when I think of you,” His voice broke as it had nearly every time the memories flooded his mind.

“You were drugged at the church and me, well you gave me a chance,” Eggsy shrugged.

“I am compromised in that I no longer trust myself. I was there to help those people and I slaughtered every one. When Valentine held that gun to me it was relief I felt that I wouldn’t have to live with what I’d done,”

“Yeah well, I know you wouldn’t have done it if you’d had a choice,” The boy shrugged, “Not that it means much,” Harry hesitated, he’d had many choices and taken many selfish options that he really couldn’t explain to Eggsy in the moment.

“Thank you Eggsy. In case I have not made it clear to you before, it is in fact your loyalty and compassion I admire most about you. I regret that I was so convinced at the time that in failing the Kingsman tasks you had let yourself down, let me down. I was entirely wrong. Had you indeed shot JB you would not be the man who had endeared himself so to me,”

“Yeah well,” Eggsy shrugged. At the sound of his name JB perked up and jumped up onto the bed to curl into the corner of Eggsy’s pillow. The dog watched his master but didn’t press any closer.

“I’m afraid that I’ve done just as much damage to you,” Harry admitted further.

“What? If you’re talkin bout the bond y’know that’s not-” Harry shushed him

“No-no, If you remember in the pub where we had that first drink, the group of young men who approached us. I knew I had the advantage and yet I enjoyed inflicting an attack on them with little provocation,”

“Yeah but-,” Eggsy strated but Harry interrupted him.

“Similarly with Professor Arnold if you remember him, I know it would have been quite possible to charm the information out of him and I chose not to. There have been many others,” Harry admitted, waiting for the moment in which Eggsy pulled away. It didn’t arrive.

“Guess we’re all a little fucked up, eh?” Harry knew the rise in his chest was a futile hope but he seemed incapable of ignoring the ego boost of such honest loyalty.

“I’m not a good person to be around you if the things I take pleasure from are acts which trigger your own issues,” His shut his eyes to stop himself from trying to reach out.

“What d’you want from me?” Harry opened his eyes as he felt Eggsy’s cup his jaw with a soft touch. The two were mere inches apart and Eggsy’s eyes appeared to be cataloguing his features front his hairline to his chin.

“Anything you wish to give me,” His voice wavered and the edge of desperation and remorse was clear. Eggsy watched him for a moment before leaning in to place a light kiss at the corner of Harry’s mouth.

“Just come back, yeah? Fixed or not, come back,” Their eyes met and Eggsy let his hand drop away. Harry caught it in its retreat and squeezed it gently.

“I shall endeavour to,” He reached a hand out slowly and cupped Eggsy’s jaw, stroking his thumb across his reddened cheek. He pulled away stood from the bed and turned to the door. There he paused unable to keep from tracking his eyes back to Eggsy, the covers scrunched around his torso “It’s selfish of me to ask but would you consider coming with me?”

“Didn’t you just list the reasons why I shouldn’t bruv?”

“Of course,” Harry nodded an dhis gaze returnred to the floor.

“See maybe you need to fix your problems by getting out of here. But all my issues are right here. Can’t fix ‘em if I can’t face ‘em right?” For a moment when Harry looked up he could see all the bravery and determination of Lee in Eggsy’s expression.

“A brave move, headstrong. Though I must wonder if all these past months have been in a similar vein,”

“Feels different now. Mum’s gonna help me get proper help y’know,” He explained

“Would you like me to ask Merlin to check in with you? He could find a good therapist,” Harry offered along with a small smile, “I can tell he’s missed you,” Eggsy’s broken expression faultered further though and Harry took a step back towards him. Eggsy held up a hand to stop him.

“Uh, could you get ‘im to send Roxy? Mum and me can sort getting help but I’ve kind of not had the guts to call her. That’s if she’s not on some mission or something,”

“It would be my pleasure,” Harry smiled.

“I’ll miss you ‘Arry,” A warmth began to spread in Harry’s chest as he shared a smile with Eggsy before exiting the room and descending the stairs.

 

The next day when Eggsy woke up there was a warmth in his chest and it felt as though it was time to rebuild the part of him that in his mind and heart had laid desolate for too long. He pulled JB into a bundle on his chest and fussed him until the pug tired from wagging so much. He took out the suit hanging in his wardrobe too.


End file.
